DEAR 2016.
You emerged like a force of nature that affected everyone in your wake. Yet, because of your ruthlessness, so many lessons were learned. Growth was mandatory. Eyes were opened. So many hidden truths were revealed. The losses were more than unbearable at times and yet, those of us still standing after the storm can count ourselves both grateful and blessed.
It was really important that I start the first editorial post for the New Year (and Lively Planner Stationery) with a meaningful and powerful reflection of the lessons 2016 taught me. My hope is that you can take some of these gems with you as we navigate through another year. Because the truth is, we should learn something every day to strengthen our self-awareness. Cheers to being dreamers, action takers, thoughtful leaders, and most importantly better citizens of mankind.
-1-
LOOK WITHIN. YOU’VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
I know this sounds a bit cliché, but greatness really does reside within us. I always go back to the story of the Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy, Tinman, Lion, and Scarecrow were all hoping for the Wizard to grant them with strengths they possessed all along. Each person took themselves through agony (and a downright foolhardy journey) but learned a very valuable lesson. This is something I feel we do on a daily basis. We take directions from several different sources and find ourselves on rocky paths.
But ask yourself, “Where do I want to be?” or “What do I want to do?” without the voices of family or friends or society in your ear. The trick is, you’ve got to learn how to maintain momentum even when you have nothing at all. People lose their jobs and feel that they aren’t smart or talented enough but the talent didn’t leave. The job did. Find out what success looks like for you and then proceed to lay a foundation that you can stand upon for the long haul.
P.S. – There’s only one YOU!
-2-
FEAR CAN KEEP YOU BROKE, BROKEN, AND BASIC
I know firsthand about making fear-based decisions. The unknown is always scary to us. It’s in our nature to want to stay safe but there’s no reward without risks. We only have this life to get it right so why not face our fears head on. Better yet, why not choose FAITH over fear. Some people are afraid to fail while others are frightened of what would happen if their dreams come true.
Listen carefully to what your fear is telling you. You’ll find a deeper meaning hidden in there and the significance of why it stops you in your tracks. Conquering this fear will move you forward to make better decisions. How do your fears materialize? Can you think of something you’ve been putting off but haven’t taken the initiative to leap? As human beings we are certainly wired to detect triggers for our own survival. We live in a society that perpetuates fear and this gets into our subconscious.
If you fail, then fail FORWARD. Failing is not the end of the world. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be utilizing your knowledge and wisdom. Gather the courage and believe in yourself because the world is waiting on your gift. Stop focusing on what you have to lose and instead think of all you have to gain by being the best version of yourself. From this point forward, make sure your decisions are not based in fear, but based in positivity, love, and the desire to help others.
-3-
HAPPINESS AND JOY REALLY IS AN INSIDE JOB
It took me quite a while to come to terms with this statement. Searching outside of yourself is pretty normal these days. In fact, people attach their happiness to material goods or other people. But I bet you can name at least 5 scenarios in your lifetime when you wished, hoped, and hustled for something you ‘thought’ would make you happy. Then once the ‘item’ was possessed, you realized that your happiness was fleeting and in fact not worth the effort.
I am a bit obsessed with JOY. The truth about joy is that it is unconditional and it’s a feeling you have even in the midst of your darkest hour. This feeling is so elusive and mysterious and a rarity that most will never experience. We live in a world where happiness is disguised as food and handbags and houses. Happiness is sold on a daily basis and unfortunately, we fall into the trap with disappointments over and over again. One of my goals for 2017 is to keep my mind and heart on joy so that I’ll know and have a sense of peace no matter what is going wrong in my life. I hope you do the same.
-4-
GET ‘DELIVERED’ FROM PEOPLE…AND THEIR JUDGEMENT
We live and interact in a very judgmental space.
The rise of social media and live streaming and the ability to film everything and put yourself out there has its advantages and disadvantages for sure. Even the most popular figures can be made into memes and humiliated just for laughs. For people who want to share inspirational messages and want visibility, this can be an intimidating reality. Think about it, the online space is filled with people of all ages who spend their time trolling and bullying others. Anything a person of influence says is under scrutiny and dissected with a fine-toothed comb. Everyone is a critic. Everyone is in their feelings about some cause or topic. Everyone wants to carry out the sentence and be the judge. So, how do you handle yourself in this space?
I truthfully don’t have a great answer. I can only encourage you (and myself) to get ‘delivered’ from people. What does this mean? Well, I heard the phrase from a talented marketing consultant named Tiphani Montgomery. I caught one of her live stream broadcasts and she said that she had to be ‘delivered’ from people because it tampered with the mission she had for her life. She went on to talk about the late great speakers who encountered hatred and teasing and humiliation, but they kept going forward. They too had a vision and couldn’t worry about the naysayers and fanatics. After listening to that, I had to agree that letting someone’s feelings put a halt on your actions gives them power over you. Also, I realized that you can be the most beautiful, intelligent, trustworthy, generous being alive and STILL have a significant number of people who will hate the ground you walk on. This has everything to do with THEM and nothing to do with YOU. So, ask yourself what really matters, focus on the mission and who you are helping, get visible, and walk in your purpose.
-5-
DO NOT TAKE YOUR HEALTH FOR GRANTED
This is probably the most important lesson that I could ever emphasize to you. The infamous saying “your health is your wealth” should be put on every refrigerator in America. Why? Millions of dollars can’t halt a disease in its tracks. Think of all the people who neglected to put their health first and paid dearly for it. Think of the downsides like paying medical bills, feeling awful all the time, or even not living to see old age. Think of those few decisions that can make the difference between being healthy and being ill. Added to that, what’s the used of being wealthy if you are sick all the time?
Your physical, mental, and emotional health should be number one. However, we’ve been conditioned to care more for our possessions than our bodies. People make sure their car is operational, house is functioning, and then will go brutally damage their lungs, liver, and gut. The body is our earthly vessel and should be cherished. Believe me, I recognize that this is a process. It begins with mindset. In fact, right now I am reading Happy Vegan by Russell Simmons and The Wild Diet by Abel James because I feel like the mind is in the driver’s seat and once we’ve made up in our mind to be great and to act on something then there is less resistance. So, if you haven’t been paying attention to your health or putting your health number one take the time right now to do so. Get others involved and make healthy choices significant in your life. Healthy living does not have to be boring, rigid, or painful. I personally love Zumba and it does wonders for uplifting your mood. Cheers to good health this year and every year.
-6-
SOME PEOPLE CAN NOT MOVE WITH YOU AS YOU RISE TO NEW LEVELS
This is always a hard topic for people because we are very attached to relationships, friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances.
Truth Moment: Not all relationships are healthy for you. Every person close to you will not always be in your corner. Some will even pretend to be. Therefore, this lesson is difficult.
Truth Moment: Sometimes, the people closest to us can be responsible for our downfall.
You may not want to hear it, but trust that you have to pay attention to who you surround yourself with on a daily basis. This is for those of you’ve who’ve had family tease you for getting a Master’s degree or ask you why you want to learn a new language. This is for people whose parents can clearly see your potential, but want you to settle for an average life. This is for dreamers who have horrible bosses that steal all of their ideas.
My message to you is simple. You cannot live your life for someone else. You cannot compromise your dreams to make someone else feel comfortable. Build a force field around your dreams. Stay away from people who do not believe in possibilities and making things happen. Run away from people who are not actively trying to get better every day.
I know this is scary and sad because as you grow, you also want to be around those you love and have everyone enjoy the perks of success. You want your closest unit to come along for the ride. But, imagine the ride with a hole in the roof and nonstop rain. Take time to recognize when someone is truly there for you and wants you to succeed also understand that cutting people off does not mean that you despise them. It means that you are more aware of the peace you want in your life. Because the truth is, some people feel a sense of entitlement and they will try to use you, manipulate you, control you, drain the energy, and dim the light that you have inside. To protect yourself, you can still love them, but from a distance. You have to know the difference between someone being part of your life versus being part of your circle.
-7-
ASKING FOR HELP IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH… NOT A WEAKNESS
Why does asking for help seems so challenging? Is it out of fear? Is it out of rejection is it not wanting to be rejected? Is it not wanting to appear to be vulnerable? Is it not want to appear as inferior or less than when it comes to intelligence? I think makes us feel so independent to know that we accomplished something all by ourselves.
This lesson is one that’s truly personal to me. When friends or family want to put in a good word or connect me with someone, I always tell them no. I realized that I was rejecting the help and basically blocking my abundance due to stubbornness and pride. I had to tap into the deeper reasons why I was not open to asking for assistance. This goes for personal and professional areas of life. Asking for help does not make you inferior. Asking for help does not make you weak. Asking for help makes you smart. I found that ego tends to get in the way and convince you that everything you do is perfect, which is false.
The truth is, we are not 100% great at doing everything and the quicker we grasp this, the faster we can experience a breakthrough. In fact, some of the most successful people are prosperous because they surround themselves with people who are experts in their field. If we stop to recognize it, we can be a better when surrounded by people who can uplift and encourage and assist us. There’s a reason why communities and groups are so popular online and offline because within those communities, you can find people who complement areas where you are weak and can provide you with assistance in the areas that you need.
Maybe you want to learn a few skills but don’t know where to start. Maybe you are having personal trouble and need someone to talk to. Make sure that you do a few things before going in for the ASK. Do your research so that you can have a foundation in place or a basis of knowledge. Be straightforward when asking for help. Have a sense of trust in knowing that the person you consulted can efficiently, confidently, and competently help you with your problem. Be thoughtful and thankful to those that help you and seek help from people who aren’t close to you. If I can do it, so can you!!
-8-
THE CONCEPT OF A ‘JOB’ HAS SHIFTED
Entrepreneurship is bigger and brighter and bolder than ever.
I think a lot of people are understanding that time is fleeting and how they spend their day isn’t adding up to what they see in their bank accounts. Let’s be clear…although entrepreneurship can have greater rewards, you are guaranteed to work harder and exist under tougher expectations. People are also starting to accept the challenge of the ‘side hustle’ and have found creative ways to make money. The minimal salaries that average Americans make is simply not enough when faced with student loans, credit bills, mortgages, and high grocery bills.
7 streams of income will end up being necessary to a comfortable survival. I for one would rather work hard for 5 years and make a mass amount of money than to work 40 years and have nothing to show for it. The nature of the job will continue to shift with advancements in technology, so you have to evolve with the times and understand your skill set. What are your gifts and how can you serve people?